Ports and puppies

Jason received his second round of chemo this Monday. After sticking him three times they finally found a vein they could use. I had no idea that your veins get weaker with the more chemo going into your body. He is having to get fluids every day this week and because his veins are weak, they had to slow the IV fluids down so that it did not make his skin burn. One of the nurses asked if the doctor had suggested a port. No, other people who have gone through this process have mentioned it, but not our doc. The chemo nurse explained that she herself had breast cancer last year and had a port put in when she had surgery. Apparently getting a port put in under the skin is a day procedure and I just really don't feel comfortable with Jason going under more anesthesia and with the high risk of infection from surgery now that he's undergoing treatment. The nurse told us a port can stay in your body for up to TEN years (which sounds a little frightening to have a foreign object in your body for such an extended period) but the general time is one year after treatment. I don't want for Jason to keep getting stuck by needles, but I also don't want him getting a permanent port put into his body. I became quite nauseus when the nurses were digging for a vein and I thanked God I was not in his shoes because I have always had a weak stomach when it comes to needles and seeing blood! I was off work Monday to be with Jason on chemo- day, but luckily we both have great families who are alternating days to take Jason to get fluids and radiation. So far he has been very tired and a little dizzy. We've been encouraging him to drink as much Gatorade as possible to avoid dehydration, however he is already getting sick of it! Luckily Jason has still had a pretty good appetite and although he lost 14 pounds after the first treatment, he has gained most of that back. After all, I did marry a "Big Bear!" :)

Speaking of Big Bears, I have decided to hold off until this summer to get the puppy I was wanting. Timing is everything and unfortunately, a puppy would be too difficult to devote all of my time to when I have a husband to see about. We signed up for marriage as a team and I plan to follow that through. Our original agreement was to get a dog whenever I got out for the summer and that is when I will be on the hunt for my puppy. I have a facination with the Great Pyranees. They are French Mountain dogs originally bred for guarding flocks of sheep. If you have never seen one of these "polar bears," I suggest you google some pictures. They are absolutely adorable!!! Yes, they take up alot of space, but one of the qualities I love the most is that they are very protective of their owner. I have read about the breed online as well as getting a first hand account of how this dog sleeps by the door as if to guard from an intruder. One of the things we will need to focus on as a puppy will be integration with other dogs and people in and outside of our house. My intention is to own a dog that I feel comfortable with as a protector as well as a safe companion. May 14 is the last day of Jason's treatment and May 23 is the last day I will be working for the school year. If anyone knows of a breeder please let me know within the next couple of months! :)

Chemo and Radiation

We ran into one of Jason's friends from Harding today at the Zoo who told me she was anticipating my next blog, so here we go...
Jason had his first round of chemotherapy almost 3 weeks ago. We sat in the chemo room from 8:30-5:00pm!! It was such a long day of sitting and waiting. Apparently Mondays are busy for the oncology office because we had plenty of company. As always, we were the youngest in the room by at least 30+ years. Jason sat in the recliner and the nurses start by giving him anti-nausea meds and pepto to soothe his stomach. The saline fluids are followed by the first type of chemo called Taxol. Some people are allergic to this drug, so they went ahead and gave him Benadryl just in case. This is the same drug that led to the intense pain in Jason's knees the week after chemo. After Taxol is done, they give him Cysplatin. The first day was actually much more painless than we anticipated, but the next 6 days proved to be quite difficult.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, Jason tried to work from home, but he was continually tired and nauseus. Jason has still yet to actually vomit, but he did have an upset stomach for a while. He and I unfortunately share an extremely sensitive stomach, so we always say that our children will be doomed to have tummy issues from day 1. By Thursday Jason was sleeping all day! On Friday, Jason attempted to take a shower and got so exhausted standing in the shower that he ran from the shower and collapsed on the bed. His eyes were rolling in the back of his head, so I called the oncology nurse immediately. Laura told me that he was likely dehydrated. We were initially shocked because he had been drinking plenty of water, but with as much as he had been sleeping it was obviously not enough. On Saturday, Jason was finally feeling a little better, but refused to get out of the house even to talk to his Dad as Tommy mowed our grass. I was extremely worried about Jason's mental state more so than his physical state which I knew would get better. The doctors had warned us that the third day was generally the worst and on the seventh day the white blood cells would be at their lowest. Even with the warning, I tried to remain optimistic and was shocked by how exhausted and ill Jason was. By Sunday I had spoken with my family as well as Jason's about his mental state and expressed my concerns of his depression.

I can handle being his nurse and making sure that he's well dydrated, but it is very difficult to try to uplift someone who is depressed and not willing to cooperate. I had a long talk with Jason about how he was projecting his hurt and anger onto the easiest target- his wife. I was shocked to find that Jason was oblivious to the things I was bringing to his attention and he was immediately apologetic. I married a strong man that promised to support me through anything, through rich and poor, illness and health. I just didn't know God was going to test those vows so quickly in our marriage. Sunday afternoon we were able to go out to eat with our families and Jason's spirits were beginning to be lifted. Thank God! Monday morning Jason tried to go into work, but he ended up coming home before lunch. That second week was much better than the first, although he was still feeling tired.

Bloodwork showed that Jason's creatine (measures kidney function) levels were high. We were initially worried about his white blood cells being low, but that was not an issue. The nurse said the creatine levels would explain his behavior Friday when he was dehydrated. From Friday on Jason has been loading up on fluids, but apparently it hasn't been enough. Jason went in to the office on several occasions to receive IV fluids and they said "keep drinking." So of course Jason turns to Crystal Light and plain old water. Little did we know that too much water can cause sodium and magnesium levels to plumet! Yep- can't win for loosin!Just this past Thursday we had an appointment with Dr. O who said that Jason needs to be drinking Gatorade along with plain water. Well if the nurses had told us that, we wouldn't be in this situation!

Knowing that tomorrow is a dreaded day, we knew that we needed to hear the word of God today. God spoke to us today through Chris Conlee by preaching about finding PEACE. It was a powerful service because after the treatment stops, you have to go on with your lives. How is that possible when you know there is NO test to see if my husbands body is infected with this cancer? PET scans show highly active cells and with this mucoepidermoid carcinoma- it's slow growing. So unless the cancer has spread so heavily that Jason is coughing blood or having difficulty breathing because the tumor is obstructing his airways, we are supposed to sit around and wait. Wait, wait, wait. We have only lived a third of our lives and we're supposed to "find a way" to go on with our lives knowing this could be the end? "With Christ all things are possible" and "God never puts anything in our path that we cannot handle" are two quotes that I hold onto dearly.

Tomorrow we will go through the second round of chemo and 16th radiation treatment. That means we are about halfway through our journey. Jason started to loose his hair Friday and his initial response was casual- typical of a man. Dr. O ginxed us Thursday when we saw him about the bloodwork because he was so surprised Jason still had all of his hair! We feared that Dr. O was going to change the chemo meds because although the kidney levels are improving, they still arent normal. Dr. O said that cysplatin has the best results with lung cancer so he does not want to change the drugs and make them less effective. It resonated for the both of us this weekend as we were laying in bed and as I was rubbing on his chest, the hair was coming off in the handfuls. To make the transition easier, Jason got his head buzzed short and trimmed the rest of his body hair. To put things on the lighter side I told him it looked like we already had a puppy with as much hair was in the bed!

Please pray for us tomorrow as we face this again. Hopefully since we are mentally prepared for what is coming up, it won't be as difficult for us.