Update

One of Jason’s friends asked that I update the “Jason’s Journey” page and I thought I would go ahead and update the blog as well. It has been nearly a year since Jason had his left lung removed. His last chemo took place at the beginning of the summer. Jason said it best one day “if it wasn’t for my scar, we could almost block out that part of our lives.” Everything happened so quickly that you didn’t have time to stop and reflect on anything. We were constantly dealing with a new doctor and hearing new information that we struggled to comprehend. Looking back, we are both so thankful for the healing hands of our doctors; both the pulmonologist and the surgeon were amazing. Jason had a bit of pain in his right side last week which scared the crap out of both of us, but it went away within a day. The nurse said that if it had been anything serious like pneumonia, it would be a consistent pain. It’s days like that when we are forced to stop and think about what we have been through and the mortality issues that we were and are forced to face on occasion.

 Jason went in for a CT scan and blood work on December 27^th. We will know the results within a week and depending on those results, Jason will be done with the blood thinner and will not need another CT for a year. He has been feeling great for quite a while now. He is back playing tennis, golf, and is now even getting into kickboxing. Of course, he procrastinates like all of us, but I think kickboxing is going to be the best thing for him as far as getting back into shape and feeling healthy. After he came home from his first time, I asked if the instructor asked if anyone had any heart conditions, etc and Jason said he didn’t want to tell the instructor that he was “One Lung Larry” because he did not want sympathy. Jason struggled for a good while after chemo with his feet hurting. Our oncologist said that the chemo can cause nerve damage to your appendages, and he said it could last up to a year. The off and on pain in his feet lasted from about February to September of this year.

In looking back at the things that helped us most I would say that Tommy’s recliner has to be at the top of the list! As silly as it may sound, without the help of the recliner, Jason would have had a tough time getting up and down from the seated position. When we got home from the hospital, it took Jason over a week before he even thought about sleeping in the bed. The doctor recommended that he sleep on an inclined pillow for the first few months, but that lasted one night and he was too uncomfortable. Their main concern was Jason aspirating in the middle of the night and not being able to sit up quick enough. In fact, they recommend that he be especially careful for the rest of his life when chewing food. The fear of something being stuck in his right lung and causing fluid to build up is very real. Every time I start to feel sick, Jason starts to get worried that he could catch it. At first, we worried about how we would function living in fear of all of the what ifs, but then again I could be killed in a car accident tomorrow, so you have to let it go. Like I said, certain things like illness or doctor visits force us to stop and reflect, but it is not a daily struggle like we once expected it to be.

Another thing that helped Jason tremendously was to get letters from friends and family. Jason received letters from teachers that he hadn’t seen in 15-20 years. All of the cards were displayed on our mantle as a constant reminder of the people who were thinking and praying for Jason’s recovery.

With it being my first year at Desoto Central Middle School, I feel as if I shared so much information with my classes. It was probably the most personal account that any teacher had ever shared with them. I feel as if I did and still do have a strong bond with my classes last year because they consistently asked how Jason was doing. My only hope in sharing my intense experiences with a group of 13 year olds is that they learned a bit more compassion for family members who may have gone through a similar experience. To this day, if I run into some of my old students at a high school basketball game, they will still ask how Jason is doing without any type of prompt on my part. God places us where we need to be and I think that those 90+ 13 year olds aided in providing me with a distraction and a support system. Not only my students, but also the teachers at DCMS were extremely supportive. I had come into the position at the end of the first 9 weeks and the irony of the situation is that the teacher left because her father in law was ill and her son had a cancer scare himself. Within 6 weeks of me starting the job, Jason was in the hospital for over a week with the initial diagnosis. The staff pulled together and gave me their extra sick leave so that I did not go a day without pay. Please note that I spent 10 months without a job when applying through Shelby County Schools and within the first few weeks of applying in Desoto County I got a job. If I had been hired in Shelby County, I would not have been able to receive any shared sick leave and I would have gone weeks without pay. Whenever Jason shows up to any event with me, the principal, vice principals, and other teachers all ask how he is doing.

Many of you may not know this, but very shortly before Jason was diagnosed, we had the option to move to Texas with his company. We had spoken to our family about the move and we were just waiting on the final word from ICEE. Due to the economy, the company decided to disperse that position among other current employees in the area. Looking back, if we had moved to Texas I cannot imagine the struggles we would have encountered being in a new city with no friends or family to support us during that time.

Our church was a big support system for us during that time and kept us strong in our faith, knowing that everything happens for a reason and we would not be handed anything we could not survive. Jim Pritchard had come from Central Church to Highpoint and the irony was that we had made the move a few years prior. So when Jason was in the hospital, I had an immediate contact for someone to pray for us at Highpoint. I remember at one time I sent Jim a text asking that he pray for us and he was literally at the hospital 30 minutes later! Coming from Central Church, Mimi had contacts that prayed and visited us at the hospital as well. Jason’s mother had contacts at Hope church that prayed for us and it was the sweetest elderly couple who visited us at the hospital. They were one of those couples that still hold hands and have to be so close to each other all the time.

With this being the most wonderful time of the year, we have lots of reasons to be thankful this season; the main one being the life of my sweet husband. This time last year we were stressed and fearful of the what-ifs. Now we have hope for the future and we are so grateful that we have survived the storm. I will write again after the CT scan to let everyone know that good news!

Ports and puppies

Jason received his second round of chemo this Monday. After sticking him three times they finally found a vein they could use. I had no idea that your veins get weaker with the more chemo going into your body. He is having to get fluids every day this week and because his veins are weak, they had to slow the IV fluids down so that it did not make his skin burn. One of the nurses asked if the doctor had suggested a port. No, other people who have gone through this process have mentioned it, but not our doc. The chemo nurse explained that she herself had breast cancer last year and had a port put in when she had surgery. Apparently getting a port put in under the skin is a day procedure and I just really don't feel comfortable with Jason going under more anesthesia and with the high risk of infection from surgery now that he's undergoing treatment. The nurse told us a port can stay in your body for up to TEN years (which sounds a little frightening to have a foreign object in your body for such an extended period) but the general time is one year after treatment. I don't want for Jason to keep getting stuck by needles, but I also don't want him getting a permanent port put into his body. I became quite nauseus when the nurses were digging for a vein and I thanked God I was not in his shoes because I have always had a weak stomach when it comes to needles and seeing blood! I was off work Monday to be with Jason on chemo- day, but luckily we both have great families who are alternating days to take Jason to get fluids and radiation. So far he has been very tired and a little dizzy. We've been encouraging him to drink as much Gatorade as possible to avoid dehydration, however he is already getting sick of it! Luckily Jason has still had a pretty good appetite and although he lost 14 pounds after the first treatment, he has gained most of that back. After all, I did marry a "Big Bear!" :)

Speaking of Big Bears, I have decided to hold off until this summer to get the puppy I was wanting. Timing is everything and unfortunately, a puppy would be too difficult to devote all of my time to when I have a husband to see about. We signed up for marriage as a team and I plan to follow that through. Our original agreement was to get a dog whenever I got out for the summer and that is when I will be on the hunt for my puppy. I have a facination with the Great Pyranees. They are French Mountain dogs originally bred for guarding flocks of sheep. If you have never seen one of these "polar bears," I suggest you google some pictures. They are absolutely adorable!!! Yes, they take up alot of space, but one of the qualities I love the most is that they are very protective of their owner. I have read about the breed online as well as getting a first hand account of how this dog sleeps by the door as if to guard from an intruder. One of the things we will need to focus on as a puppy will be integration with other dogs and people in and outside of our house. My intention is to own a dog that I feel comfortable with as a protector as well as a safe companion. May 14 is the last day of Jason's treatment and May 23 is the last day I will be working for the school year. If anyone knows of a breeder please let me know within the next couple of months! :)

Chemo and Radiation

We ran into one of Jason's friends from Harding today at the Zoo who told me she was anticipating my next blog, so here we go...
Jason had his first round of chemotherapy almost 3 weeks ago. We sat in the chemo room from 8:30-5:00pm!! It was such a long day of sitting and waiting. Apparently Mondays are busy for the oncology office because we had plenty of company. As always, we were the youngest in the room by at least 30+ years. Jason sat in the recliner and the nurses start by giving him anti-nausea meds and pepto to soothe his stomach. The saline fluids are followed by the first type of chemo called Taxol. Some people are allergic to this drug, so they went ahead and gave him Benadryl just in case. This is the same drug that led to the intense pain in Jason's knees the week after chemo. After Taxol is done, they give him Cysplatin. The first day was actually much more painless than we anticipated, but the next 6 days proved to be quite difficult.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, Jason tried to work from home, but he was continually tired and nauseus. Jason has still yet to actually vomit, but he did have an upset stomach for a while. He and I unfortunately share an extremely sensitive stomach, so we always say that our children will be doomed to have tummy issues from day 1. By Thursday Jason was sleeping all day! On Friday, Jason attempted to take a shower and got so exhausted standing in the shower that he ran from the shower and collapsed on the bed. His eyes were rolling in the back of his head, so I called the oncology nurse immediately. Laura told me that he was likely dehydrated. We were initially shocked because he had been drinking plenty of water, but with as much as he had been sleeping it was obviously not enough. On Saturday, Jason was finally feeling a little better, but refused to get out of the house even to talk to his Dad as Tommy mowed our grass. I was extremely worried about Jason's mental state more so than his physical state which I knew would get better. The doctors had warned us that the third day was generally the worst and on the seventh day the white blood cells would be at their lowest. Even with the warning, I tried to remain optimistic and was shocked by how exhausted and ill Jason was. By Sunday I had spoken with my family as well as Jason's about his mental state and expressed my concerns of his depression.

I can handle being his nurse and making sure that he's well dydrated, but it is very difficult to try to uplift someone who is depressed and not willing to cooperate. I had a long talk with Jason about how he was projecting his hurt and anger onto the easiest target- his wife. I was shocked to find that Jason was oblivious to the things I was bringing to his attention and he was immediately apologetic. I married a strong man that promised to support me through anything, through rich and poor, illness and health. I just didn't know God was going to test those vows so quickly in our marriage. Sunday afternoon we were able to go out to eat with our families and Jason's spirits were beginning to be lifted. Thank God! Monday morning Jason tried to go into work, but he ended up coming home before lunch. That second week was much better than the first, although he was still feeling tired.

Bloodwork showed that Jason's creatine (measures kidney function) levels were high. We were initially worried about his white blood cells being low, but that was not an issue. The nurse said the creatine levels would explain his behavior Friday when he was dehydrated. From Friday on Jason has been loading up on fluids, but apparently it hasn't been enough. Jason went in to the office on several occasions to receive IV fluids and they said "keep drinking." So of course Jason turns to Crystal Light and plain old water. Little did we know that too much water can cause sodium and magnesium levels to plumet! Yep- can't win for loosin!Just this past Thursday we had an appointment with Dr. O who said that Jason needs to be drinking Gatorade along with plain water. Well if the nurses had told us that, we wouldn't be in this situation!

Knowing that tomorrow is a dreaded day, we knew that we needed to hear the word of God today. God spoke to us today through Chris Conlee by preaching about finding PEACE. It was a powerful service because after the treatment stops, you have to go on with your lives. How is that possible when you know there is NO test to see if my husbands body is infected with this cancer? PET scans show highly active cells and with this mucoepidermoid carcinoma- it's slow growing. So unless the cancer has spread so heavily that Jason is coughing blood or having difficulty breathing because the tumor is obstructing his airways, we are supposed to sit around and wait. Wait, wait, wait. We have only lived a third of our lives and we're supposed to "find a way" to go on with our lives knowing this could be the end? "With Christ all things are possible" and "God never puts anything in our path that we cannot handle" are two quotes that I hold onto dearly.

Tomorrow we will go through the second round of chemo and 16th radiation treatment. That means we are about halfway through our journey. Jason started to loose his hair Friday and his initial response was casual- typical of a man. Dr. O ginxed us Thursday when we saw him about the bloodwork because he was so surprised Jason still had all of his hair! We feared that Dr. O was going to change the chemo meds because although the kidney levels are improving, they still arent normal. Dr. O said that cysplatin has the best results with lung cancer so he does not want to change the drugs and make them less effective. It resonated for the both of us this weekend as we were laying in bed and as I was rubbing on his chest, the hair was coming off in the handfuls. To make the transition easier, Jason got his head buzzed short and trimmed the rest of his body hair. To put things on the lighter side I told him it looked like we already had a puppy with as much hair was in the bed!

Please pray for us tomorrow as we face this again. Hopefully since we are mentally prepared for what is coming up, it won't be as difficult for us.

Cancer is a Journey

This is my first blog, so hang with me if this starts to sound redundant. I'm going to try and be as open as possible with what we are going through with my husband's cancer.I'll start with how Jason came into my life... December 9, 2008 Jason and I started dating for the second time after we had both been through some pretty rocky relationships with other people. Because Jason did not have my number, he remembered where I worked and decided to meet me after my shift was over. Fortunately I was not in a committed relationship at the time. I told my roommate, Michelle Artz, that Jason was the man I was going to MARRY! Ever since we had broken up the first time, I learned from many many mistakes and knew that if fate would bring us back together, we would be together forever. So, the old saying "if its meant to be, it will be" holds true to our lives. I thank God for bringing Jason back into my life because I now cannot picture my life without him. We were engaged in July of 2010 and married on September 10, 2011.

I graduated from the University of Memphis in December 2010 and it took all of 10 months to get a job with Desoto County Schools teaching 8th grade. The decision to teach middle school was actually made out of desperation because there were still so many friends from college with Elementary Education degrees without a job. I found out that by taking the Middle School Praxis exam I could receive an endorsement to my degree. I now have 85 12 year olds that I absolutely love...most days.

In December 2011, Jason was diagnosed with a cancer called mucoepidermoid carcinoma (typically found in the head and neck) located in his upper left lung. Jason had pneumonia in July and then again in December and the Minor Med doctor told us that we needed to find out WHY he is continually developing pneumonia because obviously he's too young for such illness. She actually told us T.B. was a possibility, but cancer was the furthest thing from our mind. Ever since Jason's bought with pneumonia, he suffered from a continuous cough that was especially bad at night. There was a wheezing sound when he slept, much like that of someone with asthma. So, of course we went to an allergy and asthma doctor that I had seen the year before. He tried all different types of inhalers, breathing treatments, etc to solve these issues but nothing worked! Finally, in late November the allergy and asthma doctor realized that because Jason was still only breathing at 50% of his lung capacity, something else was wrong and he was referred to a pulmonary doctor.

The week before Jason was scheduled to see the pulmonary doc to perform a broncoscopy to take a look at the esophagus and lung is when the pneumonia developed. We rushed from the Minor Med to the ER in early December and ended up staying from Monday to Friday. The broncoscopy revealed that there was a tumor completely blocking Jason's left lung so this solves the mystery of why he was only breathing at 50% capacity. The docs did not give the impression of cancer at first and they even asked if Jason had swallowed a tooth or an olive pit! Strange I know! Unfortunately, test results revealed that it was in fact cancer but we were told that we were lucky because the lung can be removed and the cancer is so slow growing that we don't have to worry with radiation or chemo. "This is what we like to call surgically curable," is the statement we continued to hear. Yay! My husband ONLY has to have a pneumonectomy! It's funny how your priorities shift so rapidly and how you become grateful that God gave us 2 lungs, not just 1.

The docs advised us that no patient wants to undergo such an extensive surgery over the holidays, so we decided to wait until after the new year. The few weeks between the ER visit and surgery were filled with PET scans, CT scans, X Rays, blood work, "ebus", etc.Our family knew that the holidays would already SUCK because we knew what was coming up, but we were at least grateful that the test revealed the cancer was nowhere else in Jason's body. Jason's surgery was performed on January 11, 2012. We were initially told that this surgery could take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. From what I can recall I think it was more like 5 hours, though that could be me exaggerating due to anxiety at the time. We heard from numerous people that Dr. Robbins was the best cardio thoracic surgeon in the area, so we felt confident we were in good hands.

Jason came out of surgery and was in the CV ICU for several days. Before fully regaining consciousness, the anesthesiologist came in to tell us that the surgery went well, but he ended up spilling the beans! This man  vastly overstepped his boundaries by telling Jason's mother and I that there were positive frozen margins. Well, with as many doctors as I had spoken to in the last month I knew good and well what that meant. "Is this man really telling me what I think he's telling me?" I asked for the man to repeat himself and spell out what this means for my family. He did not have an answer as far as what we are to do next and simply told us to refer to our oncologist. I told the nurse I needed to see our surgeon because in our consultation none of this was mentioned. Needless to say, this anesthesiologist got in quite a bit of trouble and both our surgeon and pulmonary doc were highly upset. They explained that they wanted to wait on the final lab results that would be coming in a few days and they wanted to develop a plan of action. This was such a big "whoops" in fact, that the hospital administrator set up a meeting with our whole family and reassured us that this was not a reflection of how the hospital generally handles post surgery. We were graced with sandwiches and beverages as a consolation prize for finding out that Jason has cancer by the loud mouthed, egotistical doctor. Lord God I wish they had waited to tell us because this was a huge burden on the entire family and we kept this secret from Jason for two days. We did not keep him completely in the dark and we did say that we didn't know the results from the final biopsy yet; we wanted Jason to recover quickly and become well enough to handle the unfortunate news.

So we get the final lab results and yes, they're positive. This is a rare cancer, in a rare spot in the body, oh and its RARELY non surgically curable. You can't help but ask the question, "Why my husband? Why does it have to be such a good hearted, young guy that will eventually be the father of my children?" Many many more doctors appointments followed surgery and we started preparing ourselves for treatment options. Our oncologist WOULD NOT make a clear recommendation on whether he thought Jason needed a combination of chemotherapy along with radiation or not. He pretty much said it's up to us to decide! Well, Dr. Raymond O, I do not have a medical degree and the life of my husband is in your hands so I'm gonna need you to be confident in this! With such uncertainty in the air we knew we would need a second opinion. Our original plan was to go to MD Anderson, however our surgeon informed us that they regularly speak with Duke and could easily get us in for a consult. We jumped at the opportunity knowing they were so far advanced in cancer and lung cancers specifically. At the beginning of February, Jason and I caught a flight to North Carolina to the state in which I was born. I only spent a year in NC, but there was some comfort found in returning to my place of birth.

The oncologist at Duke was so shocked by our age that he actually walked out of the room and apologized for bursting in because he really did not think we were there for treatment. This man was much more blunt in spelling out the severity of Jason's cancer, specifically due to the location. As difficult as it is to fathom, the doctor said that if Jason chose not to seek treatment at all, he would give Jason 36 months to live. While this cancer is luckily slow growing, it is in a hell of a spot. The remaining microscopic cancerous cells are located on the margin of where the left lung was sealed at the end of the esophagus. Because of the location, no more surgery can be performed and if the tumor grows it will cut off Jason's oxygen supply. A'int that a bitch! We were grateful for the doctor's honest opinion, but where do you go from here? He strongly suggested that we combine chemotherapy with radiation because Jason is young and his body can handle the beating. He would rather Jason feel like crap from treatment than risk not allowing the radiation to be as effective, therefore risking Jason's life. I agree! We also approached this man with the question of fertility. Although they would be targeting Jason's chest, we wondered if it would effect out ability to have children. The doctor said he was concerned about the chemotherapy because it would be given via IV and spread throughout the body.

We come back to Memphis and immediately set up appointments with the fertility doctor. Great, more doctors!! Oddly enough, they find that my husband's sperm count is VERY LOW! So low in fact, that the andrologist informed us that we will likely have to use In-Vito in order to have a baby. For those of you who don't already know, that runs about 15 grand per attempt and I'm on a teacher salary. Wow, we were not expecting that one! My husband is 31 so why in the world would this be ANOTHER issue we are facing? Our oncologist said that it has nothing to due with the cancer so we decide to freeze several "vials" and see a urologist. This is one of the issues that is still unresolved because they want to wait until the end of Jason's cancer treatment to find the underlying reason for fertility issues.

Jason began radiation on Thursday, March 8 and chemo on Monday, March 12. Radiation will be done everyday for the next 6 weeks. Chemotherapy (Cysplatin and Toxal) is given in 4 cycles one day a week every 3 weeks. Our last chemo treatment will be May 14th. Believe me, we are counting down the days in which this trying time in our lives is OVER! The radiation so far has not been an issue, but the chemo has exhausted my hubby all week. Monday we were in the office from 8:30-5:00! They tell us that the third day after chemo is the worst and his white blood count is at it's lowest on the 7th day. Jason is struggling with occasional nausea and continuing fatigue. He fears that he will feel this bad for the duration of treatment, but from what I gather from the docs, chemo weeks will be the worst. His face appears to be sun burnt, but we were told the steroids can cause redness and his skin will be especially sensitive to the sun. Tomorrow he is going to try and work from home and thank God Jason has a flexible job where he can do so.

I feel as if I have told the bulk of our journey thus far and I will continue to give updates on Jason's progress. Throughout these impossibly long few months we have felt the love of a God loving church and absolutely wonderful family and friends. I married my husband for his kind heart and with the response from his friends I can see I am not the only one who knows Jason's heart.